Counting to 10
Turning within to access the voice of truth can be problematic. Which voice do I listen to?
If you practiced the awareness exercise in the previous blog you may have discovered that there are many different voices that drive us during the day…and each voice can have its own agenda.
If you didn’t sleep very well the night before the Basic self may be more concerned with catching you up on your sleep rather than meeting that deadline or making that closing sale. It might be grumpy that day saying , “I’m tired. I didn’t sleep well last night. Poor me.”
If you were worried about getting that report just right or making that perfect presentation you may have noticed that focusing just on the goal of the Conscious self without the inspiration of the High self left you feeling unmotivated and resentful of your Type A approach. “When am I going to get a break? I need a day off!”
And if you spent most of your day dreaming about what could be and in the world of “if onlys” not taking action steps, the High self may step back for awhile and your creativity can dry up. “I’m not feeling very inspired. What happened to my great ideas?’
In other words, stating clear intentions and lining up all three selves helps High, Basic and Conscious self work like a well-tuned chorus – in harmony, focused and moving in the same direction.
But what other benefits can you expect from tuning into your three selves?
Remember that saying about expressing angry words, “Remember! Count to 10 before you speak.” As I recall that colloquial wisdom suggests that if you pause for a moment or two before firing back a knee-jerk verbal retort you might not regret your words or actions.
Here’s a fresh approach to Counting to 10 using the self-mastery skills of a spiritual scientist.
Let’s say that your spouse is habitually late coming home when you have planned an evening out. As you watch the clock move beyond the time of your restaurant reservation you remember all their past transgressions, tell yourself that you’re not important, and essentially have hurt feelings which comes out as anger when spouse walks in the door. Whether you express your hurt with loud pissed-off statements or stony silence, there goes your happy evening out.
Another approach using self-mastery tools – and counting to 10.
Next time spouse is running late and your dinner reservations are ruined count to 10…
#1. Observe your feelings. Basic self is a great helper in this area for feelings originate around the stomach area and the Basic self states it simply, “We’re hurt.” “We’re angry.” “We’re disappointed”
#2. Observe your thoughts. Conscious self is probably saying something like, “I’m not that important or they would be on time.” “He/she never keeps his/her promises.” “Why did I make plans again? I’m such a fool.”
#3. Take in a nice deep breath. Observation is the first step to freedom.
#4. Accept your feelings. Until you are comfortable with this process say out loud placing your hand over your stomach area, “I accept that my feelings are hurt.” “I accept that I’m disappointed.” “I accept that I’m judging him/her for being late.”
#5. Accept your thoughts. “I accept that I believe I’m not that important.” “I accept that I tell myself I’m a fool and then I feel angry.”
#6. Take another deep breath. Repeat acceptance statements until you feel a shift.
#7. Forgive yourself for judging yourself. High self is in charge of forgiveness and self-loving. Sometimes it helps to place your hands over your heart area and repeat out loud, “I forgive myself for thinking that I’m not important.” “I forgive myself for feeling like a fool.” “I forgive myself for judging myself for trusting him/her.”
#8. Now you are primed to make a different choice.
Old choice – be pissed off and say something angry when he/she walks in the door. Reason for old choice: Self-judgment and blame from hurt feelings.
New choice – Opening my heart to myself, not making up a hurtful story because of the actions of others and asking for High self guidance I might:
· Express my feelings and what I want in a neutral way
· Keep the restaurant reservation and wait for him/her while enjoying myself
· Ask to have a heartfelt conversation about the importance of keeping an agreement
Reason for new choice: Self responsibility for feelings/thoughts and choice to not take it personally
#9. Take another deep breath. Carry out new choice.
#10. Appreciate yourself for using this potentially hurtful situation for you (not against you) by practicing self-mastery tools to grow in self-loving.
Here’s your cue card.
Counting 1 – observe feelings, 2 – observe thoughts, 3 – breath, 4 – accept feelings, 5 – accept thoughts, 6 – breath, 7 – forgive judgments, 8 – make new choice, 9 – carry out new choice, 10 – Self-appreciation
Repeat often and remember to Love it all,
Rebecca
If you practiced the awareness exercise in the previous blog you may have discovered that there are many different voices that drive us during the day…and each voice can have its own agenda.
If you didn’t sleep very well the night before the Basic self may be more concerned with catching you up on your sleep rather than meeting that deadline or making that closing sale. It might be grumpy that day saying , “I’m tired. I didn’t sleep well last night. Poor me.”
If you were worried about getting that report just right or making that perfect presentation you may have noticed that focusing just on the goal of the Conscious self without the inspiration of the High self left you feeling unmotivated and resentful of your Type A approach. “When am I going to get a break? I need a day off!”
And if you spent most of your day dreaming about what could be and in the world of “if onlys” not taking action steps, the High self may step back for awhile and your creativity can dry up. “I’m not feeling very inspired. What happened to my great ideas?’
In other words, stating clear intentions and lining up all three selves helps High, Basic and Conscious self work like a well-tuned chorus – in harmony, focused and moving in the same direction.
But what other benefits can you expect from tuning into your three selves?
Remember that saying about expressing angry words, “Remember! Count to 10 before you speak.” As I recall that colloquial wisdom suggests that if you pause for a moment or two before firing back a knee-jerk verbal retort you might not regret your words or actions.
Here’s a fresh approach to Counting to 10 using the self-mastery skills of a spiritual scientist.
Let’s say that your spouse is habitually late coming home when you have planned an evening out. As you watch the clock move beyond the time of your restaurant reservation you remember all their past transgressions, tell yourself that you’re not important, and essentially have hurt feelings which comes out as anger when spouse walks in the door. Whether you express your hurt with loud pissed-off statements or stony silence, there goes your happy evening out.
Another approach using self-mastery tools – and counting to 10.
Next time spouse is running late and your dinner reservations are ruined count to 10…
#1. Observe your feelings. Basic self is a great helper in this area for feelings originate around the stomach area and the Basic self states it simply, “We’re hurt.” “We’re angry.” “We’re disappointed”
#2. Observe your thoughts. Conscious self is probably saying something like, “I’m not that important or they would be on time.” “He/she never keeps his/her promises.” “Why did I make plans again? I’m such a fool.”
#3. Take in a nice deep breath. Observation is the first step to freedom.
#4. Accept your feelings. Until you are comfortable with this process say out loud placing your hand over your stomach area, “I accept that my feelings are hurt.” “I accept that I’m disappointed.” “I accept that I’m judging him/her for being late.”
#5. Accept your thoughts. “I accept that I believe I’m not that important.” “I accept that I tell myself I’m a fool and then I feel angry.”
#6. Take another deep breath. Repeat acceptance statements until you feel a shift.
#7. Forgive yourself for judging yourself. High self is in charge of forgiveness and self-loving. Sometimes it helps to place your hands over your heart area and repeat out loud, “I forgive myself for thinking that I’m not important.” “I forgive myself for feeling like a fool.” “I forgive myself for judging myself for trusting him/her.”
#8. Now you are primed to make a different choice.
Old choice – be pissed off and say something angry when he/she walks in the door. Reason for old choice: Self-judgment and blame from hurt feelings.
New choice – Opening my heart to myself, not making up a hurtful story because of the actions of others and asking for High self guidance I might:
· Express my feelings and what I want in a neutral way
· Keep the restaurant reservation and wait for him/her while enjoying myself
· Ask to have a heartfelt conversation about the importance of keeping an agreement
Reason for new choice: Self responsibility for feelings/thoughts and choice to not take it personally
#9. Take another deep breath. Carry out new choice.
#10. Appreciate yourself for using this potentially hurtful situation for you (not against you) by practicing self-mastery tools to grow in self-loving.
Here’s your cue card.
Counting 1 – observe feelings, 2 – observe thoughts, 3 – breath, 4 – accept feelings, 5 – accept thoughts, 6 – breath, 7 – forgive judgments, 8 – make new choice, 9 – carry out new choice, 10 – Self-appreciation
Repeat often and remember to Love it all,
Rebecca
posted by The Musings of a Spiritual Scientist at 5:38 PM
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